Counseling And Helping Youth, Family With Financial Problems

 

 

We must be prepared to help those who are struggling with financial mismanagement. There are many as indicated by the number who are taking out bankruptcy these days. It is said that one out of every five families are on the abyss of financial ruin.

 

Help the counselee to acknowledge the problem and determine to solve it. Nothing can be accomplished if they are not willing to admit that there is a problem. And it is often difficult for them to see the problem because so often one's ability to handle finances is seen as a point of pride. Until they are willing to realize the need and willing to admit that they have blown it nothing will take place to effect change. No good will come out of counseling until they are ready to recognize that in fact they have made major mistakes in this area and need help.

 

One of the basic reasons why people get into financial problems is pride. They want to have a beautiful home, they want to have this and that (many things) as a point of fulfilling their prideful desires. Many, many people as young people, getting married, want to start off owning and having what the older generation might have after many years. In pride and arrogance they determine to have their desires fulfilled. Often, even after great problems, the person still does not want to admit they even have a problem and have no desire to change.

 

We must help them to seek Divine Guidance and bring about change where that is needed. The counselor must pray for direction in order that God's wisdom and God's assistance might be realized in solving the problem. With God's guidance there will probably need to be some major reconstruction in the terms of handling money.

 

The counselor must get into the de-habituation and re-habituation process with the counselee. (In another section of this book we deal with building habits and changing habits.) Paul lays down some basic principles in Ephesians four about the process of change. They will need to "put off" the old attitudes about money and "put on" right attitudes about money. (See the book on "Managing Money God's Way." ) Many do have the wrong idea about money. They believe that they should be able to spend and spend and everything will turn out right. So many think that they can have unbridled spending with their credit cards and things will turn out right.

 

They need to develop a realistic standard of living and not spend more than they are making. If they are making $300.00 a week (in take home pay) they cannot live as though they were making $350.00 a week.

 

The client will need to differentiate between what is necessary and what is luxurious. God has promised to meet all our needs, but not all our wants. It is not what we need that gets us into trouble in this life, but what we think we need. There is a big difference between needs, wants and desires on the part of many.

 

The counselee needs to develop right attitudes about many different aspects of money management. They will need to develop a right attitude about budgeting, and governing of their money. We must help them to set up a budget, and to discern what they can spend for various needs for their family. Few have a right attitude about saving. Many think that it is not proper to "have a savings to save", and to work at an investing program. A thorough study of the Word of God would teach one that God is interested in our saving. This is seen in how Christ told them to take up the fragments left over after feeding the 5,000, and it is seen in references to the ant in the Book of Proverbs and in many other ways.

 

Saving will demand discipline for they will need to be committed to a kind of discipline that will allow them to postpone getting what they want now or what they think they need in order that they might save some money to take care of things that may come up as emergencies and to have a savings that is for investments only. There needs to be two kinds of savings programs, a saving to save and a savings to spend, or a buffer-fund. (These two aspects are dealt with thoroughly in the books mentioned previously.)

 

There must be a right attitude that will balance spending and saving. The client needs to be taught about investments and insurance and the right kind of insurance to have needs met and still be able to have an investment program.

 

We must teach them some basic principles that God honors. This is covered very well in the previous mentioned books, so we will not share much here. We must help the client.....

 

1. To understand that everything belongs to God. (Psa 24:1; I Chron. 29: 11-14);

2. That giving and money management are right;

3. That there needs to be right attitudes about sharing or hospitality for God is a sharing God;

4. That blessings come from tithing and giving money to the work of the Lord. (Luke 6:38; II Cor. 9:6,7).

 

The Counselor must help others to develop and follow a financial plan. First we can help them be getting the facts. This will include having them complete a balance sheet. (note the materials in the book, "Managing Money God's Way" )

 

What kind of income do they have?

What kind of spending habits do they have?

What kind of budgeting are they doing?

What kind of outgo to they have?

 

This must be the accumulating of facts in a good balance sheet that will give accurate facts.

 

We must help them to establish goals and set priorities. By setting up a budget and noting needs (and not wants and desires) they can see where they need to change things. What do they need to do with their money? We must help them get it all down on paper and get it settled so they can see clearly in front of them what the guidelines need to be and what the priorities are or should be. They must be committed to keeping a budget.

 

 

A Preventive Ministry For The Sake Of Others

 

 

It must be our desire to help others so that they don't fall into a financial trap. We must labor to help others so they will be prevented from falling into many snares and traps during life that could bring ruin, sorrows, devastation, and great heart-ache.

 

We must teach Biblical values concerning finances. So many have adapted values about money and finances that are clearly not Biblical. We must show the counselee what kind of value statements are made in the Word of God including tithing, giving, saving, lending, borrowing, paying and all of that. We must show him what statements are made in the Bible about how we ought to value finances and material things, and what we ought to do with them. We must stress the importance of good saving procedures, and the preparation of a will, and the right kinds of insurance, etc. In all of this there must be a balanced approach to all the matters of finances.

 

Then we must emphasize finances in premarital counseling. When two people are coming for premarital counseling, help them to set up a budget. Get them to discuss who is going to be managing the money, who is going to be in charge of what aspect of the whole picture. Get them to thinking about the issues of financial management and how they are going to build harmony in this area of their lives. They must set down Biblical standards for their future so that they will work together on things and not practice quarreling, and strife in their new home because of this aspect of their lives.

The counselor needs to talk to them about how their parents handled money for many of them are going to handle money the same way they saw their parents handle it. Talk to them about spending practices. When he or she tells you they cannot resist buying certain things, and you see that one or the other is an impulse buyer or both are, you need to deal what that in the counseling sessions.

 

Possibly we need to help them see that there may be certain times of financial crisis in the managing of financial matters. There will be changes in life. There will be times potentially of financial difficulties when things are going to be particularly tight. The counselor should discuss these aspects in the life when there will be, or can be, major changes that effect the future. This will probably bring devastating change to the couple, at least this is often the case.

When children go off to college, or during the adolescent years there can be tremendous financial pressures and drain. A prolonged illness can be a tremendous drain or bring an almost impossible situation. What has been done to meet the need of the family in such an event? Then there are the special changes that take place at the time of retirement or death of one of the spouses. Couples need to be taught to not take things for granted, but to prepare for their future.

 

We must teach others the importance of being debt free. A savings program is so very important. It is imperative that the couple be taught to walk in financial freedom and not in bondage. They must be taught to stay out of debt. Debt probably is one of the chief problems and brings most of the sad effects in the lives of married couples. Much of the debt families have could have been prevented. Most debt that couples experience is just a matter of choice and not a matter of necessity. Today so many feel they can only buy with a credit card, and by the use of their revolving charge card. It becomes a habit to be in debt all the time, paying interest as a way of life. Such practices means that the couple has not walked with the Lord in these matters, has not practiced Biblical principles, and has not learned to trust the Lord for His leadership, provision and direction in daily living.

 

We must teach the couple to trust the Lord to supply in other ways than by being in debt. As they practice a debt free lifestyle and pay cash for things they will be drawn to pray more and to trust the Lord's direction in the needs and burdens of life. If we help people to be better givers, and more stable in the managing of finances they will be able to parent in a way that they will raise children who are also concerned about the issue of financial freedom. We can help them as Christian families from getting into the tragic financial binds that ultimately can be damaging to their marriages and to their families.

 

The Bible does not condemn the possession of goods and money but it does condemn those things possessing us. While there are many people spoken of in the Word of God who were wealthy and God does not condemn wealth, He does speak against hoarding, coveting, and the mismanagement of money. We need to help people experience financial freedom and to avoid indebtedness and to avoid irresponsible use of money. We need to help them experience a satisfying stewardship of God's resources. They must see that everything is God's and they are to be good stewards and so live that things do not possess them. There must be careful responsible stewardship of what God has given them.

In conclusion, only as we obey the Word of God will we have the blessing of financial freedom and the joy of managing materials things for the Lord's glory and honor.

 

 

 

Adapted from:  Dr. Edward Watke Jr. “Caring and counseling” http://www.watke.org/resources/CaringandCounseling.htm